How can you avoid stress?
I don't think it is possible to avoid stress. Stress is a fact of life
for most of us. So the next thing we can hope for is to lower the levels
of stress we are under.
Here are a few ideas on how we could do that:
Time
Management: Try making a schedule. Experience has shown that we can
usually get more done when we have a schedule. Put things that are
important on your schedule and do those things first. Work the rest of
your day around what you have scheduled.
Having a schedule has
made a big difference for me. Without one I find myself doing a bunch of
little things and then at the end of the day, nothing important has
been finished. Having a schedule helps me prioritize.
Coping
Skills: Examine how you are dealing with stress. Keep a log so you can
determine what skills are working and which skills don't work. Remember,
what works for one person may not always work for someone esle.
Self
Care: Get plenty of rest. Eat well. Don't smoke. Limit how much alcohol
you drink. How we take care of our bodies determines how well our
bodies will be able to handle stress.
Self Talk: Often we can
talk ourselves into negativity. If we find we are starting to think
thoughts that can build on our stress, stop immediately and reverse our
thinking. We can find positive in just about any situation, so look for
the positive and point our thoughts in that direction.
Modesty: I
was once told that modesty means knowing ones limitations. Such modesty
can help cut down on our stress. We will not stress over things we
cannot change. Also, we will learn to say no when things are beyond what
we are capable of doing.
7 Tips for Stress-Free Living
We feel stressed when we are pulled in two or more directions. Those
pulls create tension, which is stress. It is very much like a guitar
string being stretched too tight - the musical note of a string in
proper adjustment turns to a high-pitched twang, and finally the string
breaks as the stress becomes unbearable.
There are two ways to
address the issue of stress in our lives - learning to relax even while
life pulls us in multiple directions, and reducing the number and
strength of the demands upon our time, energy, and resources. A
combination of these approaches is most powerful as some demands are
relatively easy to eliminate or manage, while other demands are better
dealt with by accommodation.
Here are seven tips for stress-free living...
1.
Be clear about your life-purpose. Once you can describe the purpose of
your life, you can set life-goals, and once you have major goals in
place, you can easily decide which of the calls upon your time, energy,
and resources best support your major goals, and which demands are
distractions.
2. Be objective in choosing which tasks to
undertake. If one of your major life-goals is stress-free living - and I
hope it is - the tasks you choose to accept, and those you choose to
decline, should reflect that goal. For example, paying your taxes on
time is essential to stress-free living. Taxes may not directly address
your spiritual purpose, or your intellectual purpose, or your emotional
purpose, but not handling your taxes in a timely manner will compromise
your ability to achieve any of your life's purposes, as well as creating
a stressful life. On the other hand, having lunch with Judy every
Thursday may support your life purpose and may not. Learn that it is
okay to say NO to those demands that don't support your life purpose.
3.
Cultivate the ability to say NO gracefully. Even after you have decided
that a particular demand is not aligned with your major goals, there is
still likely to be stress associated with declining the demand. You may
feel compassion toward the person making the demand. Your upbringing
may cause you to feel guilty about choosing not to do what others ask of
you. And, the actual act of saying NO may cause embarrassment or fear.
First,
be firm with yourself that you do not need to cater to demands that
don't align with your life-purpose. Then, set about practicing the art
of saying NO gracefully. Don't fall back upon untruths or excuses. Don't
even say, "I'd really like to, but..." if that is not a genuine
expression of your feelings. Failing to be honorable with your word will
make you feel guilty - plus you are likely to get caught at it. Tell
the truth - with compassion. Do acknowledge the other person's
point-of-view as fully and kindly as you can. Then state your choice not
to participate. Try to avoid giving reasons for your decision that the
other person could argue with.
4. Don't procrastinate. Do it
now, or choose never to do it. Once you become aware of a demand, make
the decision of whether that demand aligns with your purpose. If it
does, begin the task as soon as practical. Otherwise, decline the
request right away. Certainly there are many demands that can't be
handled today, but do immediately classify each demand as "do" or "don't
do." There is no benefit and much stress associated with keeping a
mental (or written) list of "things to do when I have the time." If you
have such a list now, rip it up and burn it.
5. Learn to
re-negotiate commitments. The report is due tomorrow, the project
requires an unexpected amount of research, and your child just broke an
arm - big-time stress. For some of us, deadlines are generally useful
for keeping focus, but deadlines are also one of the bigger unnecessary
causes of stress. There is no shame in occasionally renegotiating a
commitment. Your boss or your customer shouldn't want a report that you
threw together just to meet a deadline. When renegotiating a deadline,
as when saying NO, handle the situation as gracefully as possible -
don't feel guilty, do acknowledge the other's position, and be
completely truthful and kind.
6. Acknowledge your own humanity.
You can't do everything - no one can - and that's okay. Allocate time
for sleep and for play, then divide your time among your important
projects - those that further your life purpose. If you still have more
tasks than time, congratulate yourself on having a large life-purpose,
and then narrow your focus. Being overburdened doesn't help you get more
done - actually the reverse, plus it destroys your life with stress. So
cut back until the tasks match the time. Easy to say and hard to do,
but you must reduce your commitments to match your time and resources if
you want to live a stress-free and healthy life.
7. Even after
you implement the first six tips, you are still going to feel stressed
occasionally. When you do, use the tools for managing stress such as
conscious breathing, walking, spending time in nature, yoga, and qigong.
Make time for these activities daily. Pause every hour for a minute of
stretching and conscious breathing. Take time daily for a walk -
preferably somewhere green and quiet, yoga, or qigong. Of course you
don't have the time for exercises to manage stress, that's why you
really need to do them anyway.
Don't Cheat Sleep
Make sure you get the sleep you need each and every day. We might think
we will accomplish more if we sacrifice a few hours of sleep, but that
is not likely to happen.
If we don't have enough sleep, we will
be sluggish. This will lower our effectiveness as well as our
efficiecny. It could mean having to redo the things we thought we had
accomplished.
There are really few things that can't wait until
the next day. Get the needed sleep and reapproach things the next day
with a refreshed mind and a revigorated body.
Get Rid of What You Don't Need
Needless clutter tends to add to our stress. It makes it
difficult to find the things we need. It causes us to dwell on the need
to "clean things up". Why stress over clutter? The simple approach to
this is to get rid of one to a few things every day. That way we are not
distracting ourselves by making a project of it, but at the same time
we are getting rid of what we don't need and not allowing those things
to take up our valuable time.
Do One Thing At A Time
In the computer world Windows is called a multitasking software.
Multitasking is great for computers, but not so great for human beings.
Trying to do too many things at once is a great stress builder. Since I
have dedicated this blog series to cutting back stress in our lives, I
must start with the concept of Doing One Thing At A Time.
Do one thing at a time. Do it well. Then move on to the next. This is a simple formula that truly does work.
Trying
to do too many things at once leads to mistakes and none of these
things really gets done well because none are really given our full
attention. By doing one thing at a time, we do it right, eliminate
having to redo it again because we messed up, and creates a smoothly
working atmosphere.
Ultimately, it will reduce daily stress, which will in turn lead to better health.
Relieving Stress May Improve our Health
I have heard for so long that stress can create so many health problems.
I recently read an article that suggests stress and cancer can even be
linked. I think it is pretty obvious that stress can cause other
problems such as high blood pressure, strokes, head aches and other
things. Of course, I am not a doctor so I can't speak from a
professional point of view on the topic of stress.
I can, however, speak from my own experience.
Stress
leads to problems. Chest pains and headaches are only a couple of the
health issues I have experienced that I connect to stress in my life.
Recently I have even developed high blood pressure. Interesting since my
blood pressure has always been low, yet recently the stress in my life
seems to be escalating.
I made a conscious decision to try to
lessen the stress in my life, but that is certainly more easily said
then done. How does one lessen their stress? I recently talked to my
doctor, spoke with friends, and am even reading a book to do research on
this topic. I believe it is important, not just for me, but for all of
us to strive to lower the amount of stress we encounter in our lives.
So
I have decided to do a series of short articles on this blog sharing
with you what I am doing to lower stress in my life. I am hoping we can
all benefit from my quest to lower stress in my life.